Vacation cut short, staycation until Monday

I had a great time on my vacation! Swimming, kayaking, an orchestra show (which had a gnarly thunderstorm in the middle of it!) and I read 3 books!

Adam had to come home on Tuesday. I thought I would stay until Thursday but this morning I was missing him and wanted to come home earlier than that. So this morning I left at 10:30 and made my way back home. On my way home I called the fertility center and changed my blood work to tomorrow morning (yay!) and I called and ordered some more progesterone, as well as made an acupuncture appointment for tomorrow.

The whole time on vacation I had cramping (very mild) on and off, and I was SO tired. Nausea here and there. My boobs are still hurting on and off as well. I freaked out my second night there and bought some pregnancy tests. My digital test said “YES+” and it calmed me down, I still haven’t taken the second test. Today I’m 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and that was the point where I lost my last pregnancy. I’m nervous but feel mostly calm. I think being away from google and support groups really helped calm me down.

I’ve been having really vivid dreams lately, and in one of them I had quadruplets. AHH!

I’m excited and scared for tomorrow’s blood work. Let’s hope this goes well!!

Advertisements

Pregnant lady on vacation!

Yesterday my mother in law referred to my unborn baby as her sixth grandchild while her and my mother were talking. (Our baby will my mom’s first grandchild.) It’s still not real, but it’s getting realer. I’m so scared of what happened last time I’ve been kind of floating through the motions, not really admitting fully that I am indeed pregnant. Yesterday I had a spat of tan/beige discharge and called my care team, but they said that’s normal. My estrogen levels are so high that the discharge is going to do weird things sometimes.

I woke up this morning feeling sick- nauseous and crampy, and I turned to Adam and said “I don’t feel very good. It’s great!” Every day I can FEEL pregnant is another day I am comforted that I am pregnant, so I enjoy these symptoms.

I did so many loads of laundry and went on a cleaning rampage last night. My mom and aunt are staying over to watch our beloved husky while we are on vacation, so I wanted to make sure they had a nice place to stay!

I might buy some HPT tests mid week when the insanity hits- but hopefully my vacation will stave that off. I’ll have no internet so I won’t be googling like crazy – or reading your blogs! I hope everyone continues in the positive fashions they have been!

With that, I’m out!

10dp5dt

FullSizeRender (1)

FullSizeRender (2)

Gang’s all here!

I had my beta drawn this morning. Now the long wait until around lunch time when I hear the official word. I feel like I’m in good shape. We shall see!

9dp5dt

FullSizeRender-4FullSizeRender-3

 

So before yesterday’s wedding I went to buy some more HPTs for this morning and tomorrow morning. They were out of First response early response, so what you’re seeing is First response rapid response (on the left) and a CVS version of an early response on the right. I was worried if I only got the rapid response the line might be too light and I’d freak out, so I bought an early response to make myself feel better. YES I AM DEEP IN PSYCHOSIS. This will hopefully be settled tomorrow when I get my beta. AND A GOOD BETA AT THAT! The lines are stronger than my last pregnancy so I am thinking I’m in good shape. We’ll see tomorrow!

9dp5dt

8dp5dt

I’m in the testing every day madness and I can’t stop it, so I’m just rolling with it. I tested this morning and it was SO LIGHT that I got discouraged. I left it alone for 10 minutes and came back and voila!

FullSizeRender-2

Could this be it? I was visualizing us with our baby and I’m starting to get really excited. From last time I’m scared to though.

IMG_1471

I think I’m in pretty good shape? Not pictured: internet cheapy tests that drive infertile women around the world CRAZY.

I’m second shooting a wedding this afternoon. I think I’m going to pick up ONE more pack of tests so I can test tomorrow and MONDAY MORNING which is beta.

Oh mannnnnn!

Another barely there cheapy HPT

I took one again this morning. Barely there again. After work I’m going to buy the FRER tests. I don’t know what to think.

Last night and today my head is pounding, cramping is coming and going, and I just want to sleep. I just need it to be Monday.

I can’t stop HPT.

I took one of my internet cheapy tests from Amazon when we were trying naturally. There’s a barely visible faint line. I hope the lines will only get stronger and not fade. I know I said I’d stop testing BUT I CANNOT STOP AHHH! The only place I have to talk about it is here and my IVF support group. Sorry for the overabundance of posts. I’m deep in the TWW psychosis.

Screen Shot 2016-08-04 at 9.05.19 PMScreen Shot 2016-08-04 at 9.05.28 PM

 

6dp5dt

I tested again this morning.

FullSizeRenderFullSizeRender (1)

It’s so so faint but it’s there. My husband and I got into a little argument last night. He doesn’t want to put any stock in these faintly positive tests. Before this cycle we talked about not getting excited until it’s official official. Like heartbeat official. I told him that we can be happy about the little steps in the right direction, but he doesn’t see it that way. He said last time was devastating (of course) and he doesn’t want to preemptively get excited. I was upset with him but I have to respect his feelings. I hate that infertility steals these precious moments from us.

I had a dream I was bleeding and in my dream I said “I lost it.” I hope that’s not a sign and just my anxiety leaking into my dreams. I’m probably not going to test tonight but I probably will tomorrow or Saturday. Definitely Sunday.

Sigh. This is so hard.

5DP5DT Part 3- yes I’m psycho

I broke down and tested. Seems like every time I tell someone I’m holding off as long as I can, I go and test. So..

FullSizeRender

SO SO LIGHT, it’s barely visible, BUT I SEE IT.

Screen Shot 2016-08-03 at 9.35.00 PM

Still barely visible, but it’s there!

IMG_1453

Sooooo yeah.

Do I test again tomorrow? Do I wait? I DONT KNOW!