Pregnancy brain is REAL.

It’s taking over. I do not feel like myself!

Yesterday I rescheduled my therapy appointment because I was so tired. I went home and slept for several hours. The exhaustion is overwhelming. I woke up every hour on the hour last night, and did not sleep well. Adam and I got into an argument before bed and that was that. We need to talk it out tonight. He used the phrase “not that pregnant” last night and I’m still pissed about it. Ugh.

This morning I almost backed into another car in my work’s parking lot- so embarrassing. Later my co worker came to me and said “Wings?” (for lunch, we all order out sometimes) but I thought he said “Twins?” Haha. Lordy. I said “Oh. Sorry. No, thank you.”

So much fog. I’m really glad for my blog and my support groups and now a few subreddits on Reddit. thanks for the support ❤

First food aversion- pork loin. NO THANK YOU.

Today has been a long day and it’s only about 1 pm. I can only describe it as “exhausted raging bitch” but only inwardly, as I work with patients, so I must be my nice and normal self outwardly.

At lunch time I couldn’t eat my pork loin. I opened up my lunch and it smelled like dog poop. I gagged. My co workers didn’t smell anything. I tried a bite. NOPE. Pregnancy is weird you guys. So I didn’t eat the pork and ate my veggies and drank my water.

That’s it I guess. The raging bitchiness has calmed down and I have a little more energy then I did. I had to lay down in the bathroom for a few minutes to get a grip on myself.

6 weeks 2 days and only 9 days away from my first ultrasound. Ahh!

Dry heaves

I had dry heaving twice this morning. I feel like pukey times are imminent. I put a plastic bag in my car in case of vomiting on the go. 😛

TMI INCOMING..

Last night Adam and I partook in.. ahem.. married activities. I wanted to hold off but we just couldn’t.. it had been over a month. It was gentle and nothing leads me to believe it hurt my pregnancy, no spotting or anything.. yet. I hope none ever comes. I’m so paranoid about it! I was nervous for a while afterwards but here I am next day feeling normally pregnant. Our doctor said it was fine 6 days post transfer but I didn’t trust it from past experiences, even though she said intercourse had nothing to do with those experiences. Knock on wood

I wished one of my old college classmates a happy birthday on FB and he responded with a thank you and that we should grab a drink and catch up sometime. I said “sounds good!” but I won’t be having a drink anytime soon 😉

I’m 6 weeks and 1 day today. I started to read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” when I couldn’t fall asleep last night.

I’m hanging on until my scan.. just a week and 3 days left. :X

I went to a maternity store today..

because I saw this shirt and thought it was so cute. I’m allowed a little excitement, right?!

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I didn’t intend to. I was there to get my eyebrows threaded and I saw this shirt in the store and had to stop in! They also had due date tank tops but I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. The lady at the store chatted with me, gave me a few tips, and said that if I ever needed anything to just call the store. Talk about customer service! I saw so many cute dresses, all the mannequins had bumps. Anyway! I’m not going to wear it around or anything- yet.. maybe I’ll use it for my announcement photos when it’s time. 🙂

Ultrasound 9/1

I finally got my orders close to 4. Can you imagine if I hadn’t called? I CANNOT. My ultrasound will be with Dr. W on 9/1 at 8:45 am. Though I’m sad it’s two weeks away- TWO WEEKS!- since I’m on vacation I’m going to need that time to build up a few hours in my bank to be able to make the appointment. No earlier appointment for me! I was also told to take 2mg of Estrace just once a day now instead of twice, which is great! I’m looking forward to the time when I can stop my progesterone shots and the placenta takes over. My injection sites are SORE.

Acupuncture was NOT relaxing. The woman next to me was snoring the entire time. It gave me a headache, I just wanted to get out of there. I visited with my mom afterward then came home and lounged around. I went to bed after my shot at 8 pm and I’ve been up since 1ish when Adam went to bed.

Vacation has been great for dealing with my pregnancy tiredness- I am not looking forward to going back to work.

TWO WEEKS. I got this. For now…. haha :X

7,611?!

After calling 5 times and not getting a care team member, I left a message for them saying I was going a little crazy and I would love to know the outcome of my blood test. My hCG came back at 7,611. WHAT?! I hung up with the nurse and starting crying immediately. I can’t believe it. She said the reason they hadn’t sent me orders was because Dr. P hadn’t reviewed it yet but once she does I’ll get orders in the portal for my ultrasound. I’m crying again. Oh my god.

I have acupuncture tonight. I’m in shock right now!!

Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.

I’m sitting here refreshing my orders page on my fertility center’s patient portal. I’m scared I’m going to get a bad phone call any minute. AHHH! Generally they just update the portal with information and phone calls are reserved for the “you’re pregnant!” call and the “you’re no longer pregnant” call. I’M SO SCARED. I came home after my blood work and slept as long as I could, and the rest of the time is me hitting refresh over and over again. Sometimes the website fakes me out and takes longer to load, like there’s new information there or something. Ugh.

I had a dream last night I was going in to the hospital and to give birth. My contractions weren’t close enough together so I was going to be waiting a while. I even thought to myself false alarm, and they might send me home.

Vacation cut short, staycation until Monday

I had a great time on my vacation! Swimming, kayaking, an orchestra show (which had a gnarly thunderstorm in the middle of it!) and I read 3 books!

Adam had to come home on Tuesday. I thought I would stay until Thursday but this morning I was missing him and wanted to come home earlier than that. So this morning I left at 10:30 and made my way back home. On my way home I called the fertility center and changed my blood work to tomorrow morning (yay!) and I called and ordered some more progesterone, as well as made an acupuncture appointment for tomorrow.

The whole time on vacation I had cramping (very mild) on and off, and I was SO tired. Nausea here and there. My boobs are still hurting on and off as well. I freaked out my second night there and bought some pregnancy tests. My digital test said “YES+” and it calmed me down, I still haven’t taken the second test. Today I’m 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and that was the point where I lost my last pregnancy. I’m nervous but feel mostly calm. I think being away from google and support groups really helped calm me down.

I’ve been having really vivid dreams lately, and in one of them I had quadruplets. AHH!

I’m excited and scared for tomorrow’s blood work. Let’s hope this goes well!!

Pregnant lady on vacation!

Yesterday my mother in law referred to my unborn baby as her sixth grandchild while her and my mother were talking. (Our baby will my mom’s first grandchild.) It’s still not real, but it’s getting realer. I’m so scared of what happened last time I’ve been kind of floating through the motions, not really admitting fully that I am indeed pregnant. Yesterday I had a spat of tan/beige discharge and called my care team, but they said that’s normal. My estrogen levels are so high that the discharge is going to do weird things sometimes.

I woke up this morning feeling sick- nauseous and crampy, and I turned to Adam and said “I don’t feel very good. It’s great!” Every day I can FEEL pregnant is another day I am comforted that I am pregnant, so I enjoy these symptoms.

I did so many loads of laundry and went on a cleaning rampage last night. My mom and aunt are staying over to watch our beloved husky while we are on vacation, so I wanted to make sure they had a nice place to stay!

I might buy some HPT tests mid week when the insanity hits- but hopefully my vacation will stave that off. I’ll have no internet so I won’t be googling like crazy – or reading your blogs! I hope everyone continues in the positive fashions they have been!

With that, I’m out!

Gentle restorative yoga? More like yoga naps.

Last night I had a client meeting at my studio. We were designing her boudoir album. The yoga studio I attend is right down the street, so after she left I started working on a blog post. I’m so behind blogging my business stuff. After I chose the images I wanted, I set them to convert to JPGs and laid down on my chaise lounge chair. I fell asleep listening to The Get Up Kids and woke up 40ish minutes later, finished up my stuff on the computer, and got ready for yoga.

I got to yoga and L and I talked about my pregnancy and she is currently in the (natural) tww. She has symptoms but doesn’t want to believe them just yet. Class started with 10-15 minutes of meditation. I set my intentions for my embryo/embies and had my hands on my stomach, just talking to them inwardly. After all our sitting poses with started using the pillow things and blankets and I swear it was just me basically napping in different gentle poses. During savasana I was asleep, for sure.

I’m used to going hard in yoga, a heated class at that, so getting used to this non heated class has been weird. I was walking standing up a little straighter on my way into work, so it has it’s benefits.

In the night I woke up with strong cramps, but they are gone now. My head feels heavy and hurts, and my nausea is coming and going. I’m still very tired.

I’m just hoping and hoping this is it for me. Adam is starting to even talk about there being a baby or babies in me, so he’s letting his guard down a little.

I have acupuncture tonight! Looking forward to it. Probably going to sleep through that, too- ha!

Two days until vacation!