13 Weeks Today

13 Weeks Today!

Some of the exhaustion has been letting up the last two days- it could be due to the fact that I have passed out at 9 or 10 pm each night respectively. Knock on wood that soon to be second trimester energy is starting to kick in. The last wedding I did on Saturday absolutely destroyed me, so I could really use the energy going forward.

I had a dream the other night that I was at the gender scan and we saw the little “hamburger” meaning girl. I read that phrase online- LOL! I woke up and Adam was saying “hamburger” in his sleep. I said “What love?” and he repeated it. I don’t know if that means anything, but I’m starting to suspect girl! When we were both fully awake for the morning I asked Adam about it and he didn’t remember a thing! My boss thinks I’m having a girl. She wants to do a gender reveal at work. My co worker/friend was like “Do it! Free food.” ha!

I bought an early gender predictor test online called Sneak Peek. I heard about it on the pregnancy subreddit I’m on and the reviews are, for the most part, good! I didn’t tell Adam about it at all so I can surprise him. I completed the test the other day and it’s now back on it’s way to San Diego, CA where they will test my blood for me. It was easy peasy! I’m excited to hear back.

Nausea still persists when I’m hungry, but I think that’s fading as well. I was having headaches over the weekend but those have stopped. I’ve been on the phone with HR, my union rep, and the company that deals with FMLA (family medical leave act) and short term disability. I read online that in my state of Massachusetts, if you aren’t on short term disability and become pregnant, you will automatically be denied as it is a “pre-existing condition.” I’ve been freaking out a bit about affording to live and taking maternity leave- I want the full 12 weeks! I may or may not qualify when open enrollment rolls around in November. I’m planning for the worst. Luckily this has been the busiest season of photography I’ve had, so I should be able to have a solid nest put aside for those three months. Oof! Not stress a soon to be new mother wants to think about.

That’s it for now!

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Well look at you, my little one.

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Baby is doing great! Heartbeat is great, the fluid at the back of their neck is narrow, which is a good sign, and they are even a couple days ahead of schedule as far as growth goes. Today was my first abdominal ultrasound while pregnant and it was nice not to have my friend the wand up my lady bits. Baby was moving around like crazy, causing me to cry and laugh, and then try and sit still so they could get their measurements. Next appointment is at 16 weeks- no scan, and the anatomy scan is at 20 weeks. This is so surreal. ❤

Doppler is the best purchase I’ve made.

My boss is awesome. I’ve said it time and again but she really is. She sat with me while I waited for the doctor because she didn’t want to leave me alone, which was great. After 20 minutes the secretary called me back and said the doc said it’s most likely normal, to keep an eye on it, and she’ll see me tomorrow. My boss told me to come home and rest, and I had mentioned my doppler so she said to use that and to text her when I had. After some struggle I found the heartbeat. Baby’s HB sounds strong as ever. Panic has subsided for now. Spotting has subsided for now as well. Hopefully tomorrow goes well. So thankful in this moment for my boss and hearing that heartbeat. ❤

 

Pink spotting….

oh god oh god oh god oh god.

 

I’m on hold with my OB’s office. My heart sunk. PLEASE BE FINE! I know this is a possibility but I’m losing it. I wish I had my Doppler with me.

12 weeks today

Feels surreal. My next ultrasound and appointment with my OB is tomorrow. We’ll be doing NT testing and I already had my blood drawn a few weeks ago. I’m so nervous but excited. My mom is coming with me. I hope they let me take a little video of the baby flipping around- as I hear they do around now- so I can show Adam. He will be at work and can’t get out to come with. Ahh!

Stupid.

Not taking a vacation was smart on paper, but stupid in practice. While I want to save as many hours as I can for maternity leave, I am so tired and stretched thin. I’m training this man at work who has no experience and I have no patience- though I try my best- so it’s been rough on me. He kinda fights me on all my suggestions – i.e. taking notes. So frustrating. My busy season has kicked in with photography as well. I’m just tired and need a break, but one is not coming for a long time. I’m trying to hang on for that energy..

I feel bad complaining as I am over the moon to be pregnant, but I’m losing it a little.

SO TIRED.. AGAIN. 11 weeks.

The last few days have been the most exhausting. I called out of work on Monday as I could NOT get out of bed without feeling like the crypt keeper. I looked like him, too. Yesterday I slept in until 1:15.. we ended up going to my parent’s house for a few hours which was great, then I went to bed at 7, slept until almost 10? Then went back to bed at 1:30ish. My sleep schedule is all weird. The morning I called out my app said “Your symptoms might start disappearing now!” and I was like “FUCK YOU.” hahaha. The nausea stays at bay most of the time as long as I’m fed, like it’s been doing. I stopped progesterone on the 28th even though I was terrified to, and all is well so far. I doppled last night (lol) and baby’s HB sounds strong and great! I’m looking forward to my ultrasound on Thursday of next week, as well as getting into the second trimester.

I heard you!

When I got home from work and errands I took a 3 hour nap, I’ve been up editing ever since I woke up. I can’t sleep. I’m downloading some images from my second shooter and I decided to try the doppler again. I found baby! First time only 2 seconds. I thought I imagined it. Found baby again! This time 5 seconds. A third time, a solid 15 seconds. I had a big smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Seems to me baby is moving around in there! It felt like we were playing tag so I finally put the doppler away and feel much better.

Anxiety creeping in..

Yesterday I had a prenatal appointment with a staff member at my OB’s office. It was great! After asking a lengthy health history questionnaire, I learned about classes offered through the hospital I will be giving birth at, when we will take the tour, and other important information. I am not a carrier for any genetic diseases, so that’s fab. After that meeting I went to have my blood drawn and the lady drawing the blood was the same lady I normally went to at my fertility center. She saw me and said “What are you doing here!?” I said “I’m pregnant!” and threw my arms out. We were pumped to see each other and gave each other a big hug before she drew my blood as well as afterward. She does the IVF center early mornings and then the lab next to my OB as her regular day job. Made my friggin’ day!

I’ve been starting to freak out about missed miscarriages and the like so I’ve been using the baby Doppler at night to try and find little one’s heartbeat. I can’t find it. I’m keeping myself calm as possible as I knew this was a possibility, but I will be honest and say it’s disappointing since I found it on my second attempt and nothing since. I almost begged them for an ultrasound but contained myself. Exactly two weeks until my next ultrasound and dear god I hope I make it there sane and little one is still with me.