Stupid.

Not taking a vacation was smart on paper, but stupid in practice. While I want to save as many hours as I can for maternity leave, I am so tired and stretched thin. I’m training this man at work who has no experience and I have no patience- though I try my best- so it’s been rough on me. He kinda fights me on all my suggestions – i.e. taking notes. So frustrating. My busy season has kicked in with photography as well. I’m just tired and need a break, but one is not coming for a long time. I’m trying to hang on for that energy..

I feel bad complaining as I am over the moon to be pregnant, but I’m losing it a little.

SO TIRED.. AGAIN. 11 weeks.

The last few days have been the most exhausting. I called out of work on Monday as I could NOT get out of bed without feeling like the crypt keeper. I looked like him, too. Yesterday I slept in until 1:15.. we ended up going to my parent’s house for a few hours which was great, then I went to bed at 7, slept until almost 10? Then went back to bed at 1:30ish. My sleep schedule is all weird. The morning I called out my app said “Your symptoms might start disappearing now!” and I was like “FUCK YOU.” hahaha. The nausea stays at bay most of the time as long as I’m fed, like it’s been doing. I stopped progesterone on the 28th even though I was terrified to, and all is well so far. I doppled last night (lol) and baby’s HB sounds strong and great! I’m looking forward to my ultrasound on Thursday of next week, as well as getting into the second trimester.

I heard you!

When I got home from work and errands I took a 3 hour nap, I’ve been up editing ever since I woke up. I can’t sleep. I’m downloading some images from my second shooter and I decided to try the doppler again. I found baby! First time only 2 seconds. I thought I imagined it. Found baby again! This time 5 seconds. A third time, a solid 15 seconds. I had a big smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Seems to me baby is moving around in there! It felt like we were playing tag so I finally put the doppler away and feel much better.

Anxiety creeping in..

Yesterday I had a prenatal appointment with a staff member at my OB’s office. It was great! After asking a lengthy health history questionnaire, I learned about classes offered through the hospital I will be giving birth at, when we will take the tour, and other important information. I am not a carrier for any genetic diseases, so that’s fab. After that meeting I went to have my blood drawn and the lady drawing the blood was the same lady I normally went to at my fertility center. She saw me and said “What are you doing here!?” I said “I’m pregnant!” and threw my arms out. We were pumped to see each other and gave each other a big hug before she drew my blood as well as afterward. She does the IVF center early mornings and then the lab next to my OB as her regular day job. Made my friggin’ day!

I’ve been starting to freak out about missed miscarriages and the like so I’ve been using the baby Doppler at night to try and find little one’s heartbeat. I can’t find it. I’m keeping myself calm as possible as I knew this was a possibility, but I will be honest and say it’s disappointing since I found it on my second attempt and nothing since. I almost begged them for an ultrasound but contained myself. Exactly two weeks until my next ultrasound and dear god I hope I make it there sane and little one is still with me.

I want to sleep. 9 weeks 5 days

I woke up at 5:30 alert and awake so I decided to make myself breakfast and edit through some of this past weekend’s wedding. When it was time for me to shower and get ready for work (7:30) I was ready to go back to bed. I couldn’t fall back asleep at 5:30 because I was ravenous, and I couldn’t go back to sleep after I ate because I wouldn’t be able to get up in time for work, as well as have some gnarly heartburn. I went to bed fairly early, too! Also I was dry heaving this AM- but still no vomit 😀

We had friends over for a small birthday party on Friday and the level of exhaustion I felt was insane. Adam turned 31 on Friday 🙂 I had a good time but after everyone left, except for two of Adam’s friends, I passed out promptly on the couch. I slept in until 10 on Saturday because I needed to prepare for a wedding. Saturday’s wedding was great, although it did leave my exhausted. At 9 pm I was toast! We ended at 10:30 and I went home, showered, and fell asleep. Sunday I gave my dad his father’s day gift, napped, and we drove to Boston for a surprise engagement dinner for one of my best friends. I napped on the way up. She was proposed to yesterday 🙂 We left after an hour as Adam was having anxiety and I was pretty tired. When we got home I tried the Doppler for the first time and definitely had some trouble finding the little one’s HB. I found mine fairly quickly. Upon my second try I found it.. it was so quiet but it was unmistakably the baby’s. I had a big smile on my face.

So that’s my weekend. I’m so tired. SAVE ME!

Wonderful <3

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Look at that baby! Getting so big!

My OB is so sweet. I really enjoyed the office, all of the staff, and especially the doctor. I am so excited! I had an ultrasound today which was welcome! Baby is measuring right on target and has a heartbeat of 169 bpm. As the ultrasound tech was showing me that I have a small subchorionic bleed, she said “Oh! the baby is moving!” and I saw a little movement and immediately started crying. I’m glad she mentioned the bleed.. I haven’t had any bleeding yet, knock on wood, but if I did I would have lost it.

My next appointment is next week to discuss all things pregnancy with a staff member, which I thought was great! Following that at 12 weeks I will have an ultrasound and a blood test (prenatal labs) and meet with the Dr again.

I’m glad I will have the doppler in case I get antsy in these next three weeks!

She told me I could start exercising like I was- so probably spin and (non heated) yoga for me, and that transitioning to her care I needed to start living like a regular ol’ pregnant lady! She was very compassionate and warm. I am really glad she was recommended to me.

9 weeks

9 weeks today! I have my first OB appointment tomorrow and I’m hoping hoping hoping she gives me another ultrasound. I know I’m being greedy, but you guys know I’m crazy. It’s nice to be comforted. I ordered a baby Doppler online today after some good reviews from a January 2018 moms group I’m apart of. Eep.

Today I’m exhausted (surprise surprise), nauseous, and my lower back has been aching since I got up. I have been feeling pinches here and there in my cervix. I’m trying to avoid the google machine and I’m just hoping baby is going through a growth spurt, as they do between 9-10 weeks- so my pregnancy app tells me.

I was such a cranky bitch yesterday, but today I just feel tired and weak.

I want to go to bed. Luckily tomorrow I have the day off. I only asked for the afternoon but she gave me the whole day. I’ll take it!

Graduation day 


8 weeks 2 days pregnant, baby is measuring perfectly! Heart rate is 156 bpm and strong. My official due date is January 24th. I’m so happy! I don’t know what to do with myself, other than sleep, as I’m exhausted and feel quite sick. 🤢❤️☺️