Perfumes!

Today at work I am suffering from the overabundance of perfume! So many strong smells, and they’re killing me. I’ve considered running to the bathroom at least three times. I hate vomiting though (phobia of mine since I was a kid) so anything to avoid it I will. One of my co workers suggested a mask and so..

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I feel so much better!

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7 weeks!

Today I am 7 weeks pregnant. This weekend has had me napping A LOT. I’ve started to get night sweats, and since I don’t generally get those I looked them up. Apparently that happens when you’re pregnant? I’ve had exhaustion, cramping, heart burn, sore boobs off and on, and nausea. Seems in the morning when I wake up is when I feel the most ill. I’m thankful Thursday is right around the corner- while I’ve been keeping calm I really really want to see what’s going on down in my uterus.

My right side for the progesterone shots was SO PAINFUL so I switched to the left for the last 4 days? Now my left side is so painful so I’m switching back tonight. Adam gave me a good rub in that area last night but it hurts so much this morning.

I’ll take it if it means baby!

Pregnancy brain is REAL.

It’s taking over. I do not feel like myself!

Yesterday I rescheduled my therapy appointment because I was so tired. I went home and slept for several hours. The exhaustion is overwhelming. I woke up every hour on the hour last night, and did not sleep well. Adam and I got into an argument before bed and that was that. We need to talk it out tonight. He used the phrase “not that pregnant” last night and I’m still pissed about it. Ugh.

This morning I almost backed into another car in my work’s parking lot- so embarrassing. Later my co worker came to me and said “Wings?” (for lunch, we all order out sometimes) but I thought he said “Twins?” Haha. Lordy. I said “Oh. Sorry. No, thank you.”

So much fog. I’m really glad for my blog and my support groups and now a few subreddits on Reddit. thanks for the support ❤

First food aversion- pork loin. NO THANK YOU.

Today has been a long day and it’s only about 1 pm. I can only describe it as “exhausted raging bitch” but only inwardly, as I work with patients, so I must be my nice and normal self outwardly.

At lunch time I couldn’t eat my pork loin. I opened up my lunch and it smelled like dog poop. I gagged. My co workers didn’t smell anything. I tried a bite. NOPE. Pregnancy is weird you guys. So I didn’t eat the pork and ate my veggies and drank my water.

That’s it I guess. The raging bitchiness has calmed down and I have a little more energy then I did. I had to lay down in the bathroom for a few minutes to get a grip on myself.

6 weeks 2 days and only 9 days away from my first ultrasound. Ahh!

Vacation cut short, staycation until Monday

I had a great time on my vacation! Swimming, kayaking, an orchestra show (which had a gnarly thunderstorm in the middle of it!) and I read 3 books!

Adam had to come home on Tuesday. I thought I would stay until Thursday but this morning I was missing him and wanted to come home earlier than that. So this morning I left at 10:30 and made my way back home. On my way home I called the fertility center and changed my blood work to tomorrow morning (yay!) and I called and ordered some more progesterone, as well as made an acupuncture appointment for tomorrow.

The whole time on vacation I had cramping (very mild) on and off, and I was SO tired. Nausea here and there. My boobs are still hurting on and off as well. I freaked out my second night there and bought some pregnancy tests. My digital test said “YES+” and it calmed me down, I still haven’t taken the second test. Today I’m 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and that was the point where I lost my last pregnancy. I’m nervous but feel mostly calm. I think being away from google and support groups really helped calm me down.

I’ve been having really vivid dreams lately, and in one of them I had quadruplets. AHH!

I’m excited and scared for tomorrow’s blood work. Let’s hope this goes well!!

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Soon after I made my first update I started feeling pulling sensations in my womb. At one point I had sharp sharp pains in my uterus and I had to bend over. They went away though. I’m only updating again so when I refer to this for my next round (HOPEFULLY for our next child) I can see how I was feeling. A nurse from Dr. P’s office called to check on me. Monday is getting close!

I have prenatal yoga tonight at 7, can’t wait!

PUPO= pregnant until proven otherwise

Last night I had acupuncture. I saw one of my best friends – we’ve been friends since childhood- getting acupuncture as well! I tapped her arm as I passed by and we excitedly waved at each other. She ended up waiting for me afterward and we went out to eat. I got a St. Germain Mimosa as I’m hoping that was the last drink I’ll have until I’m a mom! My friend L had a miscarriage several months ago, and after her D&C and waiting period she has started trying again. She hasn’t gone the infertility route as of yet, as she became preg3.pngnant fairly quickly when she started trying, but it’s very hard for her after her M/C of course. While I was laying in my acupuncture chair I started to tear up (thanks hormone) thinking about how we used to have sleep overs all the time and watch sappy movies and we did so much together- now here we are decades later (that makes me feel old) trying to have babies and having issues. I told her I thought it was great luck that she was there that night and maybe she’ll bring me some luck or my transfer…. so!

As of this morning, y transfer is in the bank! (Did I just compare my vagina/uterus to a bank?)

As I previously mentioned, my mom came along. Though I’m not religious (as you might recall I’m agnostic and not sure what I believe) I did wear a bracelet she bought me before I started my first cycle of IVF- it has Saint Gerard on it and apparently he is the patron saint of expectant mother. I’m going to keep it on as I go.4

Dr. V did the transfer which is great, she is hilarious and I needed some laughter for the occasion! She asked me if I was ready to have a great and uneventful pregnancy and I said “I sure am!” While we waiting for the embryos we chatted and my mom recalled how myself and my brother were born and delivered, I heard about just a little bit about Dr. V’s children, and we chatted about weddings as I am second shooting a wedding this weekend and Dr. V asked me what I was up to over the weekend.

After the transfer was done I headed back to acupuncture, and then got some food and jetted to work. That’s it for now. Beta is August 8th. Hoping hoping hoping ❤

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FET Friday

My lining is at 7.1. Adam gave me my first shot around 8:15 pm, and I’m still taking my Estrace twice a day. I’m happy I don’t have to take it vaginally this time around, that’s a nice “break.” I started taking the antibiotics as well. I’m scheduling my acupuncture sessions for this week right after this. I’m going to yoga tomorrow night after work.

Today we went to an engagement party and there were so many kids and a couple babies. One of the couples there has a beautiful baby girl and the mom is already 4 months pregnant with her next. I wish it didn’t hurt me as much as it does to see this- because as I’ve stated- I’m happy for others, but goddamn does it hurt because you can’t have it yourself.

I guess that’s it for now.

Letting my lining build

My therapist says I seem to be handling things much better than I was, which is great. Generally I feel like my normal self, but touching baby posts on FB really really do hurt. My bloodwork and scans were all normal, and I’m taking my Estrace twice a day. My next set of bloodwork and scans are on Saturday, so we’ll see what progress I’m making. I’m still feeling empty about this transfer. I am hoping beyond hope that it’s going to work. Thinking about having to wait months and months to continue this process is heartbreaking- I want to keep going. We’ll see what happens. I’m just hoping this is it.

Plans have changed.

If I were to do a full cycle, my retrieval would be around the time my back up at work would be on vacation for two weeks, so I’d have to wait. I have my summer vacation in August, and I don’t want to be stimming or unable to swim because of ER, so I’d have to wait more. If I do wait to do the full cycle, I’d have to put it the transfer off until November or December, because I have weddings scheduled early summer 2017 already and I’d like to be there to photograph them. Ugh. So we’ve switched to an FET. I called and the nurse spoke to Dr. Plante for me. They send the paperwork and we’ve signed off on it. I hate that so many factors are deciding when I try and have a baby. Sigh. I hope I made the right choice.