Getting closer.. FET just 2 days away

I need this to happen. Though, once it does, I’ll be in the dreaded TWW. Adam can’t come with me this time, so my mother is coming. I thought she might like to come along! A little Meme power can’t hurt. Hopefully she brings good luck. I followed a bunch of IVF blogs- reading other’s journeys is comforting. Adam doesn’t lose it like I do over this stuff. I am hoping beyond hope this is the cycle that works. I was looking into adoption stuff yesterday but I’m just not ready to give up yet naturally.

In non related IVF news, I need a damn vacation. I’m finishing up editing my last wedding before vacation. I go on vacation the third week of August.. so it will either be an early pregnancy awesome time vacation or a not pregnant again oh dear god I need to forget things for a while vacation. Nevertheless, I need a break from both jobs!!!!! I want to turn off my phone, NOT look at a computer, and just read, nap, swim, take photos, and kayak. Stuff like that.

I’m going to yoga after work tonight and I’m looking forward to my acupuncture session tomorrow.

That’s it for now.

Maybe, yes!!!, no (but yes I think)

Soooo I’m clearly in the midst of the TWW IVF psychosis. I told my therapist I would NOT TEST last night, but.. I did. Well technically it was this morning, as it was 12:30 am or something. So I did not lie to her! I had fallen asleep on the couch, and when I woke up my boobs felt like two boulders on my chest. I thought well I haven’t peed for many hours, why not…

Within 2 minutes of taking the test…

Screen Shot 2016-06-03 at 10.00.36 AM

I SEE THAT SECOND LINE! That is no evap line, ladies and.. well, probably just ladies. I went to bed but I couldn’t fall asleep. I drank a lot of water, and I testing again this morning. This time I took a digital, and it said no. I did my research and they aren’t as sensitive, so I’m not too worried yet. Could this be it?! I’m still having the same symptoms I’ve been having, so I’m very hopeful. I’m going to try and hold off and take my last test on Sunday, right before BETA day. Luckily I am very busy until then so I won’t be too anguished.

C’monnnn pregnancy!!


It’s because I have little self control..

While I was polling a support group and researching whether or not I should do an early HPT, my care team called. The nurse wanted to check in and see how I was doing, to which I responded “psycho” and she laughed. I told her some of my symptoms to which some of them sounded very promising, she said. I told her I was glad she called as I was just considering doing a HPT. She said I should hold off until Sunday night, but if I did test early, not to get discouraged if it’s negative.

Also, on the internets, this..

6 Placenta cells secrete human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream

So if hCG just started entering the blood stream, it’s probably too early? Eh? Did that stop me? NO!


And I thought maybe I saw a little something? But okay, maybe not, so it’s too early. One of the ladies in the support group asked if I had threw the test away, which I hadn’t, and if I could post it because she thought she saw something. So..


VERY VERY FAINT lines. I’m not too excited yet though because these were taken 20 minutes after I did the test, so like.. EVAP LINES!?

Unfortunately time will only tell. Please be there, PLEASE BE PREGNANT!