I’m convinced this transfer has resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I’ve been having dry heaves and exhaustion reminiscent of my pregnancy with Hawk, but my HPTs are so so light and they are not getting any darker. I’m close to tears at work and it’s so frustrating. This shit fucking sucks. I thought it was easier, but it’s harder in a way? Or I don’t have the strength and stomach for this that I once had. I’m so thankful to have my sweet boy. I wonder if I should have stopped there. I don’t know if I can keep doing this? I’m sorry for this post, but it’s how I’m feeling.
We had our FET on Thursday of last week. I started testing at home last night. Two BFN so far. I know it’s likely too early, but every pregnancy I’ve had so far I’ve had some sort of even FAINT line at 5dp5dt. I’m feeling discouraged. Yesterday I was feeling majorly pregnant. Adam’s body wash sent me running out of the bathroom with dry heaves. I had to take a nap at my mom’s house before leaving with Hawk because I was falling asleep on the drive there, despite having too much sleep. I’m having sore boobs on and off. Nausea. So.. we’ll see. I thought this part would be easier after having a successful pregnancy, but it’s not. The one comfort I do have is after looking at that BFN, I can wander over to Hawk and give him a hug and kiss and his little face makes me feel better. Official beta is on Tuesday. As for right now? I’m tired, I’m bitchy, and I’m bloated so get me out of these tight ass clothes and into my bed, butt ass naked. lol.