So a lot has happened in the last few days. I got the results of that gender prediction test.. it said .. BOY!

We’ll see if it was correct or not- Adam refuses to believe until September when we get our anatomy scan. I’d say it’s fairly accurate because if they get the gender wrong they have to give you your money back.. sooo..

I was happy to have those results. I told my Pepe on Friday afternoon. I don’t know if he heard me or not, he was pretty much comatose at that point. My Pepe passed away on Saturday.. it’s been hard. I was really really close to him and since I moved back from the city I went to college in I hung out with him constantly. Even when I was a little kid I was super close to him…

That’s a screen shot from a home movie.. Pepe looking at me when I was a baby. That’s my brother next to me. I’m really sad and depressed about this, but I know in time the pain will fade. I’d like to think he heard that he was right and that I’m having a boy- that was his prediction. Last Wednesday was his birthday and he was kind of out of it, but came more “alive” by the end of the night. I said “Pepe, I’m 13 weeks today, isn’t that exciting?” and he said “Not for me…” He was really bummed he wasn’t going to be around to meet our little one. He then said the baby would be a tough little boy. I’m going to miss him so much but I’m glad I have a lot of stories, photos, and videos to share of him with my child/children.

Now for my first official… BUMP PICTURE!

I went to a maternity store today and this is my first maternity outfit.. other than a dress I bought from Target. As you can see, most of the weight I carry is in my boobs and my belly. My face is definitely fuller.. the last time I weighed myself (last last week) I hadn’t gained any weight since my last check up.. hopefully that trend continues.

This is what I wore to Pepe’s wake tonight. His funeral is tomorrow. I’m so thankful for Adam by my side and my family.

13 Weeks Today!

Some of the exhaustion has been letting up the last two days- it could be due to the fact that I have passed out at 9 or 10 pm each night respectively. Knock on wood that soon to be second trimester energy is starting to kick in. The last wedding I did on Saturday absolutely destroyed me, so I could really use the energy going forward.

I had a dream the other night that I was at the gender scan and we saw the little “hamburger” meaning girl. I read that phrase online- LOL! I woke up and Adam was saying “hamburger” in his sleep. I said “What love?” and he repeated it. I don’t know if that means anything, but I’m starting to suspect girl! When we were both fully awake for the morning I asked Adam about it and he didn’t remember a thing! My boss thinks I’m having a girl. She wants to do a gender reveal at work. My co worker/friend was like “Do it! Free food.” ha!

I bought an early gender predictor test online called Sneak Peek. I heard about it on the pregnancy subreddit I’m on and the reviews are, for the most part, good! I didn’t tell Adam about it at all so I can surprise him. I completed the test the other day and it’s now back on it’s way to San Diego, CA where they will test my blood for me. It was easy peasy! I’m excited to hear back.

Nausea still persists when I’m hungry, but I think that’s fading as well. I was having headaches over the weekend but those have stopped. I’ve been on the phone with HR, my union rep, and the company that deals with FMLA (family medical leave act) and short term disability. I read online that in my state of Massachusetts, if you aren’t on short term disability and become pregnant, you will automatically be denied as it is a “pre-existing condition.” I’ve been freaking out a bit about affording to live and taking maternity leave- I want the full 12 weeks! I may or may not qualify when open enrollment rolls around in November. I’m planning for the worst. Luckily this has been the busiest season of photography I’ve had, so I should be able to have a solid nest put aside for those three months. Oof! Not stress a soon to be new mother wants to think about.

That’s it for now!

Baby is doing great! Heartbeat is great, the fluid at the back of their neck is narrow, which is a good sign, and they are even a couple days ahead of schedule as far as growth goes. Today was my first abdominal ultrasound while pregnant and it was nice not to have my friend the wand up my lady bits. Baby was moving around like crazy, causing me to cry and laugh, and then try and sit still so they could get their measurements. Next appointment is at 16 weeks- no scan, and the anatomy scan is at 20 weeks. This is so surreal. ❤

My boss is awesome. I’ve said it time and again but she really is. She sat with me while I waited for the doctor because she didn’t want to leave me alone, which was great. After 20 minutes the secretary called me back and said the doc said it’s most likely normal, to keep an eye on it, and she’ll see me tomorrow. My boss told me to come home and rest, and I had mentioned my doppler so she said to use that and to text her when I had. After some struggle I found the heartbeat. Baby’s HB sounds strong as ever. Panic has subsided for now. Spotting has subsided for now as well. Hopefully tomorrow goes well. So thankful in this moment for my boss and hearing that heartbeat. ❤

 

oh god oh god oh god oh god.

 

I’m on hold with my OB’s office. My heart sunk. PLEASE BE FINE! I know this is a possibility but I’m losing it. I wish I had my Doppler with me.

Feels surreal. My next ultrasound and appointment with my OB is tomorrow. We’ll be doing NT testing and I already had my blood drawn a few weeks ago. I’m so nervous but excited. My mom is coming with me. I hope they let me take a little video of the baby flipping around- as I hear they do around now- so I can show Adam. He will be at work and can’t get out to come with. Ahh!

Not taking a vacation was smart on paper, but stupid in practice. While I want to save as many hours as I can for maternity leave, I am so tired and stretched thin. I’m training this man at work who has no experience and I have no patience- though I try my best- so it’s been rough on me. He kinda fights me on all my suggestions – i.e. taking notes. So frustrating. My busy season has kicked in with photography as well. I’m just tired and need a break, but one is not coming for a long time. I’m trying to hang on for that energy..

I feel bad complaining as I am over the moon to be pregnant, but I’m losing it a little.

The last few days have been the most exhausting. I called out of work on Monday as I could NOT get out of bed without feeling like the crypt keeper. I looked like him, too. Yesterday I slept in until 1:15.. we ended up going to my parent’s house for a few hours which was great, then I went to bed at 7, slept until almost 10? Then went back to bed at 1:30ish. My sleep schedule is all weird. The morning I called out my app said “Your symptoms might start disappearing now!” and I was like “FUCK YOU.” hahaha. The nausea stays at bay most of the time as long as I’m fed, like it’s been doing. I stopped progesterone on the 28th even though I was terrified to, and all is well so far. I doppled last night (lol) and baby’s HB sounds strong and great! I’m looking forward to my ultrasound on Thursday of next week, as well as getting into the second trimester.

​​I just wanted to make sure you were okay. ❤️

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