I heard you!

When I got home from work and errands I took a 3 hour nap, I’ve been up editing ever since I woke up. I can’t sleep. I’m downloading some images from my second shooter and I decided to try the doppler again. I found baby! First time only 2 seconds. I thought I imagined it. Found baby again! This time 5 seconds. A third time, a solid 15 seconds. I had a big smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Seems to me baby is moving around in there! It felt like we were playing tag so I finally put the doppler away and feel much better.

Anxiety creeping in..

Yesterday I had a prenatal appointment with a staff member at my OB’s office. It was great! After asking a lengthy health history questionnaire, I learned about classes offered through the hospital I will be giving birth at, when we will take the tour, and other important information. I am not a carrier for any genetic diseases, so that’s fab. After that meeting I went to have my blood drawn and the lady drawing the blood was the same lady I normally went to at my fertility center. She saw me and said “What are you doing here!?” I said “I’m pregnant!” and threw my arms out. We were pumped to see each other and gave each other a big hug before she drew my blood as well as afterward. She does the IVF center early mornings and then the lab next to my OB as her regular day job. Made my friggin’ day!

I’ve been starting to freak out about missed miscarriages and the like so I’ve been using the baby Doppler at night to try and find little one’s heartbeat. I can’t find it. I’m keeping myself calm as possible as I knew this was a possibility, but I will be honest and say it’s disappointing since I found it on my second attempt and nothing since. I almost begged them for an ultrasound but contained myself. Exactly two weeks until my next ultrasound and dear god I hope I make it there sane and little one is still with me.

I want to sleep. 9 weeks 5 days

I woke up at 5:30 alert and awake so I decided to make myself breakfast and edit through some of this past weekend’s wedding. When it was time for me to shower and get ready for work (7:30) I was ready to go back to bed. I couldn’t fall back asleep at 5:30 because I was ravenous, and I couldn’t go back to sleep after I ate because I wouldn’t be able to get up in time for work, as well as have some gnarly heartburn. I went to bed fairly early, too! Also I was dry heaving this AM- but still no vomit 😀

We had friends over for a small birthday party on Friday and the level of exhaustion I felt was insane. Adam turned 31 on Friday 🙂 I had a good time but after everyone left, except for two of Adam’s friends, I passed out promptly on the couch. I slept in until 10 on Saturday because I needed to prepare for a wedding. Saturday’s wedding was great, although it did leave my exhausted. At 9 pm I was toast! We ended at 10:30 and I went home, showered, and fell asleep. Sunday I gave my dad his father’s day gift, napped, and we drove to Boston for a surprise engagement dinner for one of my best friends. I napped on the way up. She was proposed to yesterday 🙂 We left after an hour as Adam was having anxiety and I was pretty tired. When we got home I tried the Doppler for the first time and definitely had some trouble finding the little one’s HB. I found mine fairly quickly. Upon my second try I found it.. it was so quiet but it was unmistakably the baby’s. I had a big smile on my face.

So that’s my weekend. I’m so tired. SAVE ME!

Wonderful <3


Look at that baby! Getting so big!

My OB is so sweet. I really enjoyed the office, all of the staff, and especially the doctor. I am so excited! I had an ultrasound today which was welcome! Baby is measuring right on target and has a heartbeat of 169 bpm. As the ultrasound tech was showing me that I have a small subchorionic bleed, she said “Oh! the baby is moving!” and I saw a little movement and immediately started crying. I’m glad she mentioned the bleed.. I haven’t had any bleeding yet, knock on wood, but if I did I would have lost it.

My next appointment is next week to discuss all things pregnancy with a staff member, which I thought was great! Following that at 12 weeks I will have an ultrasound and a blood test (prenatal labs) and meet with the Dr again.

I’m glad I will have the doppler in case I get antsy in these next three weeks!

She told me I could start exercising like I was- so probably spin and (non heated) yoga for me, and that transitioning to her care I needed to start living like a regular ol’ pregnant lady! She was very compassionate and warm. I am really glad she was recommended to me.

9 weeks

9 weeks today! I have my first OB appointment tomorrow and I’m hoping hoping hoping she gives me another ultrasound. I know I’m being greedy, but you guys know I’m crazy. It’s nice to be comforted. I ordered a baby Doppler online today after some good reviews from a January 2018 moms group I’m apart of. Eep.

Today I’m exhausted (surprise surprise), nauseous, and my lower back has been aching since I got up. I have been feeling pinches here and there in my cervix. I’m trying to avoid the google machine and I’m just hoping baby is going through a growth spurt, as they do between 9-10 weeks- so my pregnancy app tells me.

I was such a cranky bitch yesterday, but today I just feel tired and weak.

I want to go to bed. Luckily tomorrow I have the day off. I only asked for the afternoon but she gave me the whole day. I’ll take it!

Graduation day 

8 weeks 2 days pregnant, baby is measuring perfectly! Heart rate is 156 bpm and strong. My official due date is January 24th. I’m so happy! I don’t know what to do with myself, other than sleep, as I’m exhausted and feel quite sick. 🤢❤️☺️

How life stages change…

One of my favorite bands, Queens of the Stone Age, will be on tour soon. I’m going to get the presale tickets for my area’s show, and I am looking specifically for seats because I will be six months pregnant at that point, and I have never been six months pregnant so I don’t know if standing for many hours rocking out will make me tired or not. Better safe than sorry!

Several years ago, the last time I saw this band with my cousin, I was stoned the whole show smoking weed out of a one hitter and rocking out real hard. This time little one and I will be rocking out together with a bottle of water. Love it! 😛


Yesterday’s wedding was great! But exhausting. All in all the day was about 12 hours when you factor in driving, working, and being a guest after 9 pm. I danced but not with my usual vigor. I was seriously pooped. A member of one of my secret FB groups for IVF moms of my area was there, as a bridesmaid- the bride is actually how we met and how I became part of the group, she introduced us. Anyway, she was bringing me water all day/night and making sure I stayed hydrated, as were several of my friends and my fabulous second shooter. It was so nice! I came home and after taking my crinone injection up my lady parts and going to the bathroom I promptly passed out. I woke up at 9 because I can’t sleep past that anymore and went down a few hours later for a nap. Wedding hangovers (without drink) are REAL for wedding photographers- add in first trimester pregnancy and holy crap.

I’ve been having cramping today like I have this whole pregnancy, so that gave me some comfort that little one is growing. I’m nervous for my ultrasound and hope my symptom watching doesn’t consume me this next week.