I’ve been taking my estrogen pills and waiting. I don’t have scans and blood work until next Wednesday. For some reason this feels like the longest FET ever.. must be because there was so much in between the retrieval and now. Doesn’t even feel like I’m doing an FET right now.

Thanks for the comments about my Pepe. ❤

So I started taking Estrogen yesterday. 2mg twice a day orally, next week continue that and add it vaginally. On our way.

My Pepe has been in the hospital since Sunday. Yesterday we found out he has stage 4 liver cancer. 3 months left to live. I’m waiting to hear more as the oncologist is visiting today. They of course won’t be doing any treatment. There’s nothing anyone can do. I am still in shock. I thought he just had a bad cold and some weird stomach stuff going on. He told me the other day “Katlyn I’m waiting for that baby!” and now I’m so sad my child/children will never meet him, and he, them. He’s seriously the best with kids. Of course he’s had a good life, he’ll be 88 in July, but man this sucks. My poor mother took care of my Meme as she died of cancer, and now Pepe, too. He JUST moved into a new addition they put on their house. I’m so sad. Fuck, man.

Here’s a photo of Pepe I took on our Canada vacation. (My Pepe is from Canada and my husband and I took him up there by car. We also decided on this very vacation to have kids)

Day 1 is here! I’ve never had a period take that long to kick into high gear but here we are. Blood work and scans tomorrow morning! Let’s get this thing going eh?

Well, I haven’t upgraded from spotting and my cramps stopped. They said if my period doesn’t come by April 26th then to call and we’ll get Provera labs going. UGH. The reason we have to wait until the 26th is because that is the last cycle day 1 I had. I’m so tired of waiting. I want to start this damn FET cycle!

In other news, Adam’s doctor is recommending back surgery NOW. He says that the pain will not go away, and rather than Adam go through this regularly he advises he get the surgery. Adam is scared. He’s waiting for the call from his surgeon today, and then he will have an appointment with him. He said he wants me to come with him to that one because he never knows what questions to ask but I do. Then we will make our decision. I said if he wanted a second opinion he should get one, but also this doctor seems to know what he’s talking about. We’ll see! So that’s what’s up.

Cramping continues, I’ve started spotting, huzzah! I bet I’ll have a full flow/day one by tomorrow or Sunday the latest. FET cycle here we come 🙂

So I’ve officially stopped my birth control. My meds should be waiting for me when I get home.. now all I’m doing is waiting on my period. I’ve had a few twinges of cramps today so I’m guessing it should be here in the next few days, a week at the latest.

Sunday I went to a friend (and a wedding client of mine!)’s bridal shower. It was fun! I had a few Bellini’s and hung out with my girlfriends. I also met one of the girls from my local FB IVF mom group. She’s been through so much- and we’ve chatted so much online in the last year plus. It was great to give her a hug and chat in real life! It felt like it wasn’t the first time we were meeting, lol. She is really good friends with my friend (the bride) and that’s how I heard about this local FB group.

I’ve been taking good care of Adam. He’s still in some pain.. as long as he doesn’t move he’s alright. I feel bad for him.. he said he’s sick of being stuck. The one nice thing is that it’s forced us to stop doing our own thing as much as we were doing (we get into hermit modes even from each other!) and hang out waaaay more which we’ve been enjoying. That dude is so fucking hilarious. I’m a lucky lady. He has an MRI this evening.. so I hope that goes well.

Finally, I started calorie counting and I’m going to start going to spin and yoga again. I’ve gained at least 30 pounds since I started IVF, and I need to lose 42 total, which feels crazy! Of course, if I get pregnant my mindset will change, and that calorie count will go up a little bit 😉

That’s it for now!

Always always waiting. I can’t help but be very frustrated. IVF is very frustrating in general. I called Briova to see if they can ship my meds so I can get a stop date for the BC and they still haven’t worked through the order, so it cannot be shipped at this time. The guy on the phone updated my order to “stat” and said to call back in a few hours. Between calling FNEC over and over to see if my cycle was approved and now Briova, it’s getting annoying. I just want to get underway.

In other news, I would have been due this month, in the next week or two I think, if my last pregnancy didn’t end in miscarriage. Weird, eh?

I’ve been patiently waiting for approval to come through for my FET cycle. After some phone tag and me being annoying calling, they have ordered my meds and I just need to call to schedule delivery. Finnnnally!

In other news, Adam is in a bad way with his back. He herniated his L4 in high school and it was pretty dormant until last year, where he was out of work for two weeks in pain. He came home last week (Tuesday I think?) and collapsed into bed in pain. After a couple hours nap we gingerly tried to get him down the stairs. He collapsed at the bottom of the stairs in pain and couldn’t move for some time. He ended up having to crawl to the couch, where he could not get comfortable. He was screaming in pain. I’ve NEVER seen him like that in our 10 years of knowing each other. After a couple hours and a worried call to a nurse practitioner, I called an ambulance to get him to the hospital, as he literally could not move. They gave him some heavy duty meds when they got to our house and ended up having to remove him on a stretcher as they weren’t touching the pain what so ever. The EMTs were great, the ER visit was not a pleasant one, and they kept trying to get us to leave and telling Adam there was nothing else they could do for him. They were giving him barely any pain meds. I sat for hours rubbing his head as he laid in terrible pain. I work for the hospital we were at and I’m going to let them know how terrible some of their staff were to him. We tried to leave at one point, Adam putting all of his weight on me, and we couldn’t get to the exit without him collapsing again. He couldn’t sit in a wheel chair because it’s his lower spine that is affected and getting up was horrendously painful. I got help and we got him back onto a gurney and he laid the wrong way. After doing so one of the nurses got impatient that he was laying the wrong way and he needed to move. He was panting in pain and said he needed a minute. She gave him 20 seconds and said “Okay! Move your legs this way!” and he repeated he needed a minute. She had been bobbing her legs impatiently. She put her hands up and walked away.  We ended up getting him out of the hospital an hour after that- and after they gave him a little bit of actual pain medication, and I wheeled him out on a wheel chair sideways, with a pillow built up. I drove him home while he was on all fours in the back of my SUV.

The x-rays showed he has spinal stenosis and some degenerative things going on. Honestly, the ER doctors don’t know as much as the specialists, but they should have taken his pain more seriously, especially after seeing his x rays.

He had an appointment with a spine specialist yesterday and he’s herniated another disc, one of them is ruptured, and his spine is that of a 40 old man’s as opposed to a 30 year old man (what he actually is.) Surgery is inevitable, it’s just a matter of now, a couple years, or 10 years from now. I’ve been waiting on him hand and foot, which he hates, but I like to take care of him. He was using a walker up until two days ago. He will be out of work until April 27th at least, and he is scheduled to have an MRI and be re-evaluated before that. I’m just so glad he isn’t in so much pain anymore. He’s sore and his mobility is bad today, probably from venturing out yesterday.

I have a cat scan on Friday because of a nodule on my lung. Nothing crazy, just a yearly thing to keep an eye on it.

That’s it for now. We are stressed over here, just a bit!