Cycle will be underway this evening!

Sooo I went for my baseline bloods and scans. I’m starting on gonal F tonight. I have a photography retreat Sunday through Wednesday and we found a Quest a half hour away from where I’m staying where I can have blood work on Monday there instead of driving 3 hours round trip. Woo! I guess that’s it for now.

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Soon, soon.

Friday is my baseline scan! I stopped BC yesterday.

Saturday I had lunch with one of my best friends. I’ve mentioned her here before. The last time I posted about her, I mentioned that she had suffered a miscarriage. Well, I got a drink that had apple flavorings and whiskey in it and it was delicious, so I offered some to her. She said “I can’t.” I said “You’re pregnant?!” and she said that she was and she’s 12 weeks along. I almost started crying, I’m SO happy for her. I didn’t feel hurt or jealous or anything like that, just pure happiness. We went out to eat right before my last cycle as well, so we thought this was odd/funny.

Another girl I know just announced her pregnancy with rainbow baby twins.. she’s doing IVF and had a miscarriage her last attempt.

I hope I’m next.

Meds- ordered. It’s happening again!

I’ve been pretty numb to starting another cycle until today. I can’t believe we are here again. Not necessarily in a bad way, it just feels surreal. I feel so much older and in the grand scheme of things it hasn’t been that long. I was chatting with my therapist about how I’m finally getting back to normal and out of my depressive episode and I’m throwing myself back in this again. I just have to keep up the self care. I’ve booked 4 weddings since my last update, so that’s definitely been a boost! If I get pregnant next month, I don’t foresee any issues with any of the weddings, especially since two of them are for summer and fall of 2018. My last wedding of this season is currently in mid October, which would put me at roughly 7 months pregnant, if I get pregnant next month, and if it lasts. I have plans for if I’m on bed rest, and will be hiring extra help. I’m getting ahead of myself of course, but you need to have a plan when you’re responsible for someone’s wedding photos! A lot of photographers I know keep shooting up until the last few weeks of their pregnancies! So we’ll see.

I’ve been exercising a lot and I’m not losing weight but gaining. I think it’s because I’m gaining muscle. My tummy and face have slimmed down and several people have remarked how I look thinner. My aunt said “You got skinny!” I’ve been eating really well, too. I’m going to schedule my first acupuncture session for next week, to get a few “on the books” before I get to my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork the 24th. I have a photography retreat at the end of the month which I’m looking forward to as well.

I hope 2017 fucking rules!

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Next cycled begins 2/24!

My period showed up today. Naturally! Holy mackerel the cramps are horrendous. I used to get pretty terrible periods when I was a teen.. although not quite THAT bad, they still suck. I’m just glad it’s here! Tomorrow I start my active birth control pills, which I stop on the 21st. My baseline bloodwork and ultrasound will start on 2/24, and my meds have been sent in to the pharmacy, I just have to call them tomorrow. I have quite a few medications in my fridge that I was going to donate when it was “safe” to do so, needless to say I still have them. It’s surreal this is all happening again. I’m excited to get going.

I just started feeling normal a few days ago, and I’m about to do this all again. YEP. I’ve been going to spin class (usually at 6 am!) and yoga classes, eating better, and my mood has been improving. I also increased my anti depressants so I’m taking 30mg of celexa every day and I think that’s finally kicked in as well. I have therapy tomorrow evening, I’ve been going every two weeks.

I booked two weddings last week and in the last week and a half I’ll have had 7 consultations. Trying to do my thang here! I have a photography retreat the weekend and into the first week of my cycle, over an hour away from where I live.. Saturday through Wednesday.. I’m hoping I don’t have to drive back and forth (I rented a hotel room) but if I do then hey, gotta do what you gotta do…

Everyone is all excited for the superbowl but honestly I couldn’t care less. Oops. :X