It eeks out like a leaky faucet

I really do swear I don’t think about this all the time, but sometimes our loss jumps out at me and I don’t expect it. Last night I was second shooting and there was this adorable family of three there. They had been dancing all night, mostly the dad (who was an incredible dancer!) and the little girl. She had to be two? Anyway, a slow song came on and the three danced together. I went from smiling while I was taking their photo to choking back a sob. Ugh. When will this stop?

Also on FB today, a woman I know who is due around the same time I would have been due posted that her baby will be a girl.

I want my girl 😦

I missed Friday’s appointment for my blood test to see if my hCg had gone back to 0 because I had a meeting in Boston for work. I was supposed to got this morning but after two weddings this weekend and not getting home until midnight this AM I just couldn’t drag myself out of bed. I’ll be going tomorrow, then hopefully we can start the next batch of tests to see what the fuck is going on here.


One thought on “It eeks out like a leaky faucet

  1. unplannedinfertility says:

    I don’t think it’ll ever *stop*. You will probably get to the point that you don’t have to choke back a sob, but I think grief always catches you at unexpected times. Certain things will probably always remind you.
    I really hope you get some sort of answers from your upcoming testing. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

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