Last night I had a therapy session- my therapist squeezed me in. Thankfully. I feel much better today after talking with her. We talked about my situation and she was saying that though she understands wanting to shield myself from what feels like the inevitable, nothing is guaranteed. I was telling her a lot of what I said here. I’m scared to have false hope, but I don’t want to leave my little one alone to fight by himself. So for now I’m going to love him all I can, treat myself as if I were normally pregnant, and not look at the past or the future, just be in the now. I’m sure that will change the closer I get to the next scan, but what else can I do? He’s got a strong heartbeat for now, so momma will try and be strong, too.

P.S.- I do NOT want to be at work.