I’ve been checking for blood every single time I go to the bathroom, as well as every time I wake up, and so far, no bleeding. I’m still quite tired but not as tired as I was, and my nausea has been very minimal. I am still getting cramps like I did when the pregnancy first started, and this makes me wonder if there is any growth happening, even if it’s not viable. I told Adam this is such a shitty limbo to be in. I can’t wait for Tuesday, just to find out what’s going on. I read one story a few minutes ago where the baby was 4 days behind with a very very slow heartbeat, second US the baby hadn’t had any growth barely but the heartbeat rose, and at the third US had finally caught up. The baby was born at 41 weeks. I’m not holding on to hope that that could be our situation, but it was interesting to read.

Yesterday I shot a wedding and there were a few pregnant ladies present, but for the most part I was in photographer mode and it didn’t get to me as it would normally.

Every morning I wake up and remember that the baby inside of me is either dead or slowly dying. It’s really depressing.

We went and saw The Light Between Oceans this evening, and it probably wasn’t the best choice in movies but I had been wanting to see it for some time. My husband wasn’t very prepared for it, even though he knew the premise. SPOILER_ in the movie the wife has two miscarriages, and needless to say we were both crying watching this film. It was a good movie, just very sad and depressing.

I’m still taking my Estrace and progesterone and I wonder if those are the causes of my cramping.

Well, that’s it for now.