I tested again this morning.
It’s so so faint but it’s there. My husband and I got into a little argument last night. He doesn’t want to put any stock in these faintly positive tests. Before this cycle we talked about not getting excited until it’s official official. Like heartbeat official. I told him that we can be happy about the little steps in the right direction, but he doesn’t see it that way. He said last time was devastating (of course) and he doesn’t want to preemptively get excited. I was upset with him but I have to respect his feelings. I hate that infertility steals these precious moments from us.
I had a dream I was bleeding and in my dream I said “I lost it.” I hope that’s not a sign and just my anxiety leaking into my dreams. I’m probably not going to test tonight but I probably will tomorrow or Saturday. Definitely Sunday.
Sigh. This is so hard.